Other than my parents, my grandparents have had the most influence on my gender identity. Growing up whenever I wanted to play with my brothers' friends and have my "tomboy" moments my grandma would sometimes intervene and bring me inside to bake cookies with her or help do the dishes. She would always make comments about how little girls should always wear pretty dresses and act lady-like. It wasn't until a few years ago that I actually was comfortable not being the perfect lady like she wanted me to be.
Honestly, I don't really pay that much attention if someone is acting like the other sex. If they're comfortable being whoever they're being then it's not my place to make a big deal about it. But I definitely do think that guys have a harder time than girls if they are guy. If a guy is more feminine, regardless if they are gay or not, they get picked on, treated differently, etc. because they do not have the manly persona that society says they should have. Girls are more compassionate and understanding, so it is less common for girls to be rude or put down a person who identifies with the opposite gender of who they are. Also, I have heard many times from guys that, "It's hot to see two girls going at it." I feel as if society puts a double standard on heterosexual guys and girls and it is still there even for LGB people.
My gender identity is definitely a woman. I am not the most feminine woman in the world and I have my tomboyish attributes, but at the end of the day I still identify myself as a woman. As for my thoughts about other people's gender identity, as long as they're happy being who they are. For me, it doesn't matter if a male identifies himself as a female or female identifies herself as a male. As long as an individual in comfortable with their own personal gender identity I could care less about all the other technicalities.
I can appreciate your laissez faire attitude when addressing how you feel about gender identity and I can appreciate as a man that you're aware of the specific norms imposed on men by society. I can also appreciate that you brought up this double standard in heterosexual guys and girls. Coming from a guy I have never understood this attraction and it has a very negative impact on the LGBT community. I have to say that I don't know if the comment about girls being more passionate and understanding than men is entirely true. Even at our school if you don't fit that particular image of "college girl that" I see all over campus then you can definitely become the punch line of many jokes or just not be viewed with the same amount of respect as your peers. This case shows itself even more in high school settings.
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